Saturday, 13 April 2019

Would that I could...

Would that I could, my dear, to bridge the gap betwixt
Across the plains or distant seas
Fleet of foot or wing
To find you once more in life
But not the dream 
Though dreams of you I desire

Would that I could, my dear, to hold you close
As closely held you should be
With warmth I would fill
Your earthly soul
What warmth I can give
Yours to keep
Though long for your warmth I do

Would that I could, my dear, to be with you
To stroke your hair
Feel your skin
Share the joy you bring to me
Would that I could.

Tuesday, 3 July 2018

Work in Progress

“What a way to ruin a birthday… Booked a quiet table in a fancy restaurant and she’s a no show… Not even a call? Hope it’s not another birthday breakup…”
He quickly hit post so he wouldn’t have to think about how appropriate the comments might be. He was, simply, pissed off. With a sigh, he went back to perusing the menu. Maybe she was just caught up at work again. Maybe.

“So, half a microg of ketamine for every kg, so that makes it about 35? Might round up to 40 microg, which is let’s see... Hmm.”
“Don’t forget...”
“Yes, I know, I’ll never live that down will I? Usual dose of medaz, don’t want to cause any problems! And I trust you will have the spares in place?”
“Of course. As always. Do you remember the last time I didn’t? No! Because there hasn’t been one. Just get your bit right.”

Alice stared vacantly at the rail map on the carriage wall. ‘Hmm’ , she thought, ‘three more stations. If we ever start moving again’. There had been the usual bland statement from the driver, at least this time she could understand what he was saying. Delays affecting the Caboolture line in both directions, blah blah blah... All she needed now was to hear that the wonderful ‘railbuses’ would be running tonight. Already late, and with no battery left after playing that stupid word game. She cursed under her breathe and went back to ignoring the slightly wild smelling young man next to her.

“Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please.” The voice was scratchy but clear enough. “Due to disruptions on the Caboolture line this evening, we will be stopping at Zilmere and detraining all passengers. Buses are currently waiting and will be stopping at all stations to Caboolture. Please ensure you take all your belongings with you when you exit the train.”

This time Alice cursed out loud, as did a few other people in the crowded carriage. The buses were slow, crowded, and just plain annoying. Alice didn’t care what the reason was, it was just bloody annoying.
“ Probably another stupid kid trying to train surf,” she muttered, thinking back to recent news reports. She was sure there would be another 30 second grab on the news about a ‘police incident’ causing delays. Again. With a sigh she felt the train rock as it started moving again slowly. Alice didn’t bother getting up and moving to the doors, enough idiots were already there. They wouldn’t leave anyone behind. Well... Not when they could charge them a ticket price.

Three buses had pulled up in the carpark at Zilmere station. By the time Alice got through the doors and down the stairs, all three had pulled out, the last leaving as she got to the door. The driver just ignored her, as a lot of drivers did. They got paid the same regardless, probably getting overtime now. Alice thought they would earn their money today, as the crowds of people stuck at the station were not looking happy.
Alice looked around. Last time this had happened... Yes! On the other side of the station, opposite the buses and crowds, a line of taxis had started to form. Yes, the buses would get you there, and you didn’t have to buy a new ticket. But they were slow! A taxi now... She thought carefully. ‘If I say that I was going to a work function, and keep the receipt... It’s worth a shot.’ Decision made, she walked back up he stairs (good for the calves) and across to the taxis. It looked like she wasn’t the first person to have this idea, but it was nowhere near as crowded as the other side. And she wouldn’t have to sit next to anyone, either. She got in the next taxi, not caring which brand it was. They were all the same anyway.
“Heading to a station miss?” The driver seemed to be fairly polite, which was always nice. He also didn’t have the radio blaring like some did.
“Yes, Morayfield station please.” Alice had been brought up to be polite to everyone, not only those polite to her. “Wait, no... Can you take me directly to the Sports Club? I can pick up my car after.”
“Sure thing miss. There’ll be some traffic, but I’ll get you there quick as can be.”
“Thanks,” Alice replied, already lost in the world of work. She kept going over a knotty problem with staffing in her head. Maybe this trip, in the quiet, would help her find an answer. As much as she wanted to fire them all, that wasn’t up to her. Yet.
Humming softly to himself, the taxi driver pressed a few buttons on his console then put the car into gear.

Tony was still waiting, and starting to get irritated at the looks he got from the wait staff. It wasn’t his fault that he hadn’t ordered anything yet! He kept scrolling through the news. Train delays, nothing new there. “Well, bugger,” he said softly but with feeling. Train delays. He felt a bit petty now, but too late to remove the post. He hoped it would quickly get lost, he hadn’t tagged anyone after all. Even if Alice deserved it, she could at least respond to his text! Tony checked again, just in case. Nope. A brief conversation at lunch time about stupid people (on this Alice and Tony agreed, it was most of the world). Nothing since then. After thinking for a moment, he tapped out “Sitting at the table, waiting for you. Haven’t ordered anything yet. Love you.” There. That wasn’t nasty at all. With a sigh, Tony flagged down a waiter and asked for a beer, full strength. “Yes of course a schooner,” he said, but waited until the waiter left before finishing with “stupid idiot.”

Alice looked out the window with some confusion. Last she knew, they were going up that monstrosity known as Gympie Road, bumper to bumper traffic. Now it seemed as if they were going fairly quickly, trees going past before she could really get a good look.
The driver noticed her confusion, or guessed. “We’re taking a few back roads miss, to avoid the traffic. It’ll be cheaper for you that sitting in traffic, even though it’s a bit further to go.”
“Oh, okay. How much longer will it take?” Alice wasn’t really paying attention, her thoughts still in the land of human resources and personnel management.
“Not too much longer miss, not too long now.”

Alice thought she had finally thought of a solution, which would leave everyone equally unhappy (in HR terms a success). Suddenly she realised that the taxi was slowing. She looked up through the windscreen, and saw a man waving a red torch at them.
"What’s going on?”
“Looks like another RBT, they think they’re clever by staking out the back roads. Won’t be long miss, I don’t drink on work days.”
Alice sighed. Just what she needed, another delay. She tried her phone again, just in case, but only got the flashing lightning symbol.

She was surprised when the passenger door opened. The policeman stuck his head in and said “Excuse me ma’am, I’m just doing a vehicle inspection, would you mind stepping outside for a moment? I’ve instructed your driver to stop the clock until we're done, it won’t take long.”
“Yeah, whatever.” Alice was frustrated, but what could you do? Police did what police did, stay polite and stay out of trouble. She walked over to the unmarked car. ‘Don’t these usually have all sorts of radios?’ she thought to herself. Turning around to go back to the taxi, she was surprised to see her driver was walking towards her. “Is everything okay?” she asked in a frustrated tone.
“Yes miss, everything’s good now miss,” he said as he approached.
“Ow, what the fuck was that?” Alice almost shouted at the sharp pain she felt in the back of her shoulder.
“What was what miss?”
“Something... I don’t know.”
“Maybe it was a horsefly miss? Come on, let’s get you to the club.”
“Yes... Yes I think... “ Alice trailed off. What was she thinking? “You're right, probably a horsefly or something stupid like that. We’d better get going, I’m already running late.” Getting back in the taxi, Alice wondered briefly where the police officer had gotten to before she drifted into a daydream where she was hunting down staff with a big axe.

Humming to himself, the driver punched a few more buttons. “Why do birds, suddenly appear... “ he sang off key. A few hundred metres behind, the other car followed.

Thursday, 14 September 2017

Cold Light

A soft laugh carries across the broken ground
Where water laps against dirt
Tinged red as a pale rose
Washed with the light of a setting sun
Across the stream the first faint glow of the moon
Ready to bathe the world in the cold, harsh light
Of truth
The laugh continues
Broadened by a soft wheeze
As the sun sinks lower and moon rises
Colour leeches from the world
Draining slowly away to leave shades of silvery grey
But the soft laugh stays
Unchanged by truth
For what is laughter but a shield of truth?
in the stream a stone rises slowly
Glistening in the silver light
Darkly glowing and moist
Upon the stone sits a man
Often mistook for statue he sits
And laughs
Tears run down his face leaving dark trails
That slowly fall into the water below
Endless flows from where once eyes sat and saw a world of life
Now empty and bare
For he wished but once to see
What was hidden and lost
He wished but once to know
All that had once been thought gone
But once did he wish to see the truth
Now he sits and laughs softly
Unmoving and stone
As the cold light of night rises

Tuesday, 12 September 2017

You are there

The night grows old, yet
My mind wanders still
Chasing after such dreams as may be found
Scattered and cast aside
Left behind when nightmares were formed
as shattered pieces merge and flow
Pathways form for briefest moment
Followed by my mind
As it ventures far from home
Perhaps to return unchanged
But likely not
in the darkest night where minds are lost
You are there
Eyes shining bright

A pain so deep that numbness is an eternity away, yet
To be numb would be a blessing
Sent from the heavens far above
To cast a shadow on one trapped in the eternal fire
Nerves raw with tension finely strung
No sound permitted here
Not even a whimper may escape
For that fleeting moment of release
May yet unleash the tide
But sweet release, longed for and denied
May be bought, for a moment now
With the simple pleasure of pain unbound by feeling
In the realm where pain has overcome
You are there
Soft gentle touch

In the land of dreams I am caught
Trapped in the beguiling web
Of fantasies and horrors
That could never be, yet
They exist
Perhaps in search of my wandering mind
I am lost
Amongst paths identical and flawed
Leading not to where my heart desires
But to where I fear I belong
Trapped once more in a maze of broken mirrors
Reflecting my inner eye to show me what I know to be true
Casting no shadows as even light is lost
And fades away
In that moment where I remain, abandoned to my fate
you are there
Soul of pure fire
And I am found

Thursday, 15 June 2017


I am itchy
On the inside
Worms and maggots writhe under my skin
Launching themselves into the vastness of space
Lost in the black void
Coz I am itchy
On the inside
Joints creaking and muscles aching and eyes blurring
Thoughts stirring and stirring and stirring
And boiling over into songs that never finish
Lines play back and forth
Itchy again
But scratching won't help
There's nothing to scratch
The grey matter all tucked away
On the inside
For the love of all that is holy
Can the itching stop?

Friday, 21 October 2016

A lonely voice crying into the night
Trailing away, blending into the soft moan of the wind
Waiting, ever waiting for a reply
But none to be heard

He stares at the moon, baleful eye glaring back at him
He stares until all else fades into the dark
Only the shining silver light is left, until
A blink

Darkness falls
The night awaits a motion, a sound
Deep chest draws back, muzzle raises high
A mournful howl stretches from the mountains far
Seeking a long lost love
Waiting for the reply
That never comes

Friday, 19 August 2016

Lie to Me

Lie to me
Tell me the world is just, and fair
And full of people who care
That it's okay to hold my teddy bear
When I can't sleep and I'm scared
Say you'll come with me to the next fair
That you'll help me colour my hair
Promise that you'll see me there
And help me hid when music blares

Lie to me
You're okay, it's just a cold
That puts our weekend plans on hold
But hey! Next you'll say we're getting old
Instead we'll go together, bright and bold
To the store where all those toys are sold
That big set, can I put it on hold?
You'll pay it off soon, the man is told
A strange feeling, your hand so cold

Lie to me
Tell me that you're pushing through
The way you always do
Make me believe it's true
Not a single doubt that you
Will com back, and show out of the blue
The ways in which you love me too

Lie to me
One last time

Saturday, 25 June 2016


Clouds stir in the gentle light of distant moon
Lone bird cries to greet the passing of the day
Sister moon rises higher in the sky
Atop the highest mountain I pray

The light that shines so soft a glow
The world awash with shades of grey
Broken by a flash of light
It is with you my thoughts stay

Not hot nor cold upon my lofty seat
As stars turn and wheel above
Lost in time and though I am
Eyes closed, yet I see that which I love

Sister moon blinks, the light is dim
As clouds pass across her face once more
For an eternal moment all is silent dark
I wonder, what is it for?

This journey brought me to this peak
Far beyond the rest of the world
To this place, this time, this moment now
Where no one else can be heard

Alone, I sit with sister moon
Alone, I stay this night
Alone, in silent stillness
In silence that I might

Hear your voice once more this life
Though distant shores you stride
Upon this lonely mountain peak
I feel you by my side

Monday, 18 April 2016

No More

And then you weren't there any more
I woke up and the world had changed
A presence now gone from my life
An empty place that once was filled
You weren't there and I didn't know why

I didn't tell you then
Because then I didn't know
What it would mean with you gone
But now you are
And every day hurts

Life goes on as the seasons turn
Each day fades slowly to night
Each night is lost in the painful glow
Of sun shining without you
But shining still

I hear your voice still
In the darkness
When the moon hides her face from the world
Sometimes I wake from a dream
And then you aren't there any more

Sunday, 26 July 2015

Bitter Tears

Author's Note: This piece is completely fiction.

The bitter tears lie salty on my lips
Remembrance of a near-forgotten kiss
With one that once was loved beyond a doubt
Memory now the heart carved gently out
But sliding forth in subtle shades of grey
A thought that might appear both night and day
With no direction from my conscious mind
This thought that is the opposite of kind

I weep as once again it comes to fore
As it has done again and more before
The tortures that my mind will bring to me
The pain and suffering will not let me be
Do I deserve to suffer in this way
Can I convince these thoughts to stay away

The tears that fall burn traces down my skin
Pathways traced remind me of the sin
Continuing to haunt me in my dreams
This curse will continue for life it seems
Unclear, I do not know what can I do
To push away these thoughts and dreams of you